Quotes for Albanian Road Trip, why the hell am I keep on saying this? Feel free, I don't mind.

Richard Hammond

Mercedes. Mercedes. Mercedes

Albania is "Mercedes Museum" you see everywhere old Mercedes Cars

Mercedez ALbania

(After James 'commited suicide') Anyway.

James May

Couldn't we have murdered somebody a bit smaller?

(seeing the roadblock) You'll never take me alive, copper!

Oh crickey it's the Albanian rozzers

Jeremy Clarkson

What the hell were Bentley thinking of!?

(the pantyhose keeps dropping in Clarkson's face) Really annoying me now, keeps dropping down. How do women wear tights?


Ridiculous ways to get put in jail

Jeremy: One man, who owned a cafe, got 18 years in jail for telling a customer he didn't have a spoon. Another man pointed at Corfu over there and said "Why have they got a light in their harbour and we haven't?" He got 25 years.

Rob a bank

Jeremy: (voiceover) The next morning, we found a bank full of money and robbed it.

Jeremy walks out through the back, wearing a pantyhose over his head, has a M1911 gun and bag in hands.

Jeremy: Going for a stroll, look normal, look normal, look normal.

Clarkson comes up to Richard's car.

Jeremy: Yeah, take the Merc, it's the quickest.

Jeremy stuffs his bag and gun in back and struggles to get into the wheel.

Jeremy: Oh god, Hammond, Hammond!

Manages to get in.

Jeremy: There we are, completely normal.

He closes the door and speeds off as Hammond comes out, with a pantyhose over his head and bag in hand.

Richard: My Merc. Clarkson, you (bleep)! Right, Rolls it is!

Hammond goes to James' car, gets in and places his bag in the passenger seat.

Richard: Seatbelt safety.

Hammond puts the seatbelt on and speeds off as May comes out, with a gun and bag and pantyhose over his head.

James: You utter (bleep)!

James runs to the Yugo as the bank alarm blares and drives off.

James: What a pair of utter, utter cars.

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